How do you write?

This was asked more than once on different communities on G+ about writing in general:

 I would love to have some thoughts on some aspect of your writing process: character development, story/plot mapping, etc.

Well, on first thought not as easy to answer for me as it seems. See, I don't plan my books and stories. I just write them. So, I questioned myself on these things about writing. 

"But you must have some idea about what you want to write?"

Yes, I do. I mainly get the ideas for my stories while I'm sleeping, dreaming. I don't dream the stories in words. It's the images, emotions that stick. To put that into words forms a story. Or two.

"So, the stories are always about you?"

NO, not at all. Sure, some traits of my character and personality do come through in the stories. Very often though it's how I am NOT. Maybe, how I want to be. Usually a completely different character than me. It's more like listening to some people telling you about their life and then you write that down in your own words.

"Ah, more like writing biography. Packed in a nice story."

Yes, I guess you could call it that. Not a full biography though. Only one event or experience that deemed important to be remembered and passed on. It can be the story of just one day, a few weeks - or a lifetime to tell this relevant topic.

"All drama then. With tension and action."

Hahaha, not all of life and life changing events are dramas. Some can be very subtle little things. Like waking up one morning and noticing the warmth of the sun on your face shining in through the window. A phrase overheard while riding the bus to work. A smell that makes you recall memories long forgotten. All these things can make lovely stories too.

"No drama at all; no action? You know, like in the movies?"

Some stories might have drama, action too. If it helps to get the point across I will write it that way. But most of my stories are on the happy side. The nice things that happen to you. Finding friends when you feel alone, being accepted for what you are and treated with full respect, tackling difficult situations and not being crushed by them. There is so much happiness and positive things in the world. Why neglect them and only write about the bad and ugly; the horror and drama and sad things. No needed to add to all that "negative" stuff around us. Sure it's there, but it won't go away when we focus on it so much. See it, change it (or do your best to change it) and be happy. Life is for living and loving, not mourning and being depressed.

?

I'm not saying my characters are happy all the time and don't feel sad or anxious. They do. But they don't get stuck in those feelings. They actively (there you have the action) do something about how they feel. And it can get them into tricky and dangerous situations too.

"OK, I think I get how your characters are. But what about the plot, the development of the story?"

Well, I start writing with the emotion of my character in mind. Of how they feel in the main situation I'm writing about. So far, I do start at the beginning of the book and write it through until the end; just as you would be reading it. Not a later episode first and then some earlier stuff. I tried that once and I got all muddled up, repeating things I already had written about but in the wrong order. While editing the story, I might add a paragraph or move it around a bit. But mainly the story develops as I write it. Not after a plan. Sometimes I'm surprised myself at how the story ends differently from what I had in mind when I started out. But the overall message it has doesn't change.

"And there is always a happy end?"

A happy end or more often an open end. Life doesn't stop just because you managed to go through a situation. The character surely will have more such events to go through in his or her life. But it's not important to that one story about him/her.

"Doesn't it get boring to write this same kind of plot of mastering a situation, successfully?"

No, not at all. As each person in the world is unique so are my stories about them. They are all written in different styles and genres. Not one label for all to place them under.

"All the stories are then based on live on Earth. In a kind of world you live in as well."

Those are the easiest to write. No need to "invent" words for things that don't exist. But I do write stories about other beings too. Like the one in "Forgotten". That was very hard to write as those beings actually don't have gender like humans have. Or don't use names. I had to come up with something to describe this and pack it into a story a reader can relate to. I'm not sure if I succeeded in that fully. From the feedback I received I know some people find it heard to think outside of human gender when reading about other beings.

"So you do world building in some of your stories. How?"

World building is such a big word. I don't built a world. I dive into the one I conceived. I paint a picture of the landscape and living situations with my words. Like an artist creates a landscape on canvas with paint and other materials. Just as every being is unique so is the world they live in. It may touch the one you live in. Or be completely different. So different that you don't understand it.

"No planned character development, no plot mapping, no world building. Don't you think about the readers?"

I, as author, don’t write for a certain audience. or readers. I write for everyone, knowing that many will not really understand what I'm writing about; and may, or may not, enjoy reading my stories. If the reader can dive into the story and have the same images in mind as I had when writing it, great. If not, well, there will always be other stories to read and write.

I think, this sum sit up quite nicely. And as I get dreams every night, sometimes even more than one, I guess, I won't run out of ideas for stories. Or ideas for creative paintings. ;-)

Relaxing and thinking about what to do next.

Happy Easter 2013

One year has past.
Easter has come again.
The Easter decoration in my village looks like last year too.
Happy Easter was the post last year.
Only change is that Easter is earlier - and that it is much, much colder this year too.

In some places they say this Easter is more like the Christmas we wanted to have in December.
In respect to all the cold and snow.
And for some even in the amount of presents they get.
Not so much in chocolate eggs and bunnies; not so healthy.
Now many place non-food things in the Easter baskets.

Well, I'm not. ;-)
But I will give you presents too.

Photo presents.

Sunrise at 7:25 on Saturday from my kitchen window.

Frozen Motion; an impression of the cold times this Spring.

A hot fire to warm you up again.

My maxi chocolate egg -

and the surprise it contained: an artist sheep.

=)) Perfect present to me. Thank you Easter Bunny.
Now all I need is just some free time and good light (and warmth) and I'll be back to creating some more paintings.
In the meantime, I'm working on these little candle holders.

HAPPY EASTER 

too all; if you celebrate it or not, or some other festive on this weekend.
Have a good time, enjoy yourself, enjoy life.

=))

Dream Influences Reality - you can choose

I had a dream.
A short dream.
A strange dream.
I woke with one image strong in my mind.
And a short message that felt like a last plea from someone else.
Of things unfinished.
Just one more thing to be done.
And he could have gone in peace.

Yes, it was a man from what I felt and heard.
A photographer.
He had made beautiful photos all his life.
Now, he had the idea for a new kind of photo.
An artistic photo.
Simple, yet also with a message.
He had it all set up.
He only had waited for the right moment to make the shot.

But that moment never came for him.
His life ended before he could take this one photo.
Now, he was restless.
Searching.
Asking for help.
Anyone that would be willing to help.
That would be able to hear him.

He sent out his idea of the photo as the last thing on his mind.
Not his name.
Nothing of all that he had achieved in his life.
No.
Only the image and that, please, someone make it for him.
That was what I could remember from that dream.
And the image he had wanted to do.

That dream was in April 2010.
The next morning I went into my garden and set up the photo as I could remember it.
And took the photo too.
There was something missing though.
In my dream, I had seen something scurry across the image.
A thin black thing like a spider.
I had waited a few hours for a spider to come.
To no avail.
Before I, too, would not get to make the photo, I just took it without the spider.
Maybe, I could add it later with some software.
I never got around to doing that though.
I did not have the right software.
And to me it felt that a spider would be somehow a bit out of place on my photo.

It wasn't until a year later approximately that I had the idea of adding a poem to the cropped version of this photo.
Yes, the message was still not "out there".
Taking the photo alone was no help at all.
So I wrote the poem.
I even made a German version to it.
I had it placed in the calendar of the art club in my village together with the photo.
Still not many took notice of it.
Then I joined G+ and also got a blog.
I posted it there.
But, I still did not have many followers.
So again only a few had seen it.

Today I had the urge to add a story as to why I took this photo.
This one I had been requested to help in doing in my dream.
And now, I think, I know that the spider was not to be IN the photo at all.
That it most probably was only "he" that had fled from the image.
The image was the important thing for me to remember.
Not him, or anything else about him.
Just that one image.

And the "message" he had wanted to express with it.
I had to use my own words to express this message.
It is not his message alone anymore.
But also a part of my message.
That there is more to the eye than can be seen. 
A whole world hidden.
It is up to each one of us to discover this world.
And all the others.

Here the link to the post I had made now 9 months ago:
Beneath

and the photo:

For my art exhibition I had used this photo again; printed on canvas.
And placed a nest with a white clay bird on top of it.

So, as you can see, this photo has gone through some changes.
Like life goes through changes.
But one thing is certain: you will never find the right moment.
If you feel you have to take a photo, make a painting, be creative, 
then don't wait for the right moment to comer along.
No.

Just do it as soon as you can. 
Right now if necessary.
That too is part of the shared message from his plea.
That had been in my dream.
And now is part of my reality.
The dream has influenced my reality.

Do your dreams influence your reality too?
Don't be scared about it.
It's a gift, a wondrous present for you.
Embrace it.
Use it.
Or ignore it, if that's your wish.
You can choose.
I chose to use it.
Whenever I can.

Vacation on Gran Canary Island, Playa de Ingles

Get ready for boarding and take a flight. The trip starts at Nuremberg airport. First a short flight to Dusseldorf and then with a larger plane to Gran Canary Island. From there with the taxi to the apartment (hotel).

Once we have arrived I'd like to welcome you to the report of my vacation travel this year, 2012, to Gran Canary Island, Playa des Ingles.

Sit down on this bench at the ocean, listen to the waves and relax.

Both sand sculptures I saw on the day I hiked through the dunes from my apartment hotel to the lighthouse. The artist sat close by watching for donations and spraying the sculptures with water from the orange insecticide tank you can see on the second photo. And, yes, she did remove money from the red cardboard ever so often.

Faro lighthouse, Maspalomas - too tall and pier too short to get it  on one photo straight.

View from the balcony of the apartment down to the beach on the 3rd day. The clouds didn't make it much cooler. But the waves were fantastic - high enough for body surfing.

View from the beach back to the apartment hotel - right behind that tall tree.

 And although the promenade with the restaurants was only about 10m away - there was a kiosk for cool drinks at ice cream 5m away.

waves at Faro - stone beach as a gigantic wave some years ago took most of the sand away there

Sunrise was all that I could take photos from the sun - the apartment looked south-east.

On the first morning - later sunrise time than in Germany. 

After about a week "calima" set it -- that fine dust that looks like fog. 

But still the beach was full of people. Many, too many were "fried"  a deep dark red. Some even had blisters on the skin from too much direct sun. And still they kept going to lay in the sun all day - unprotected. 

I avoided the sun from 11.00 to about 15.00 and even then used high sunscreen lotions - and didn't get one burn; just a little tan. 

During the midday hours was the time to visit the supermarkets - small shopping centers close to the hotels. With a nice layout and park like feature (3 different locations, photos only from one):

Walking there was no problem - no cars on the wall above the beach part. All for joggers and leisurely walkers and those that only wanted to go to the beach (down about 1200 steps at least at various places in the wall):

 Some hotels along that walk way have a "cactus garden":

The park like entry to one of the shopping markets:

The entry to the "CITA" (a different one than the one above) with copies of European sightseeing highlights:

There I met her, one of the many cats:

Such blue eyes!!

Yes, food (aka restaurants and snack bars) is the most important thing for the tourists - next to the souvenir shops:

 But - with the economic crisis and lack of interest for keeping things in shape (tourists come here for over 40 years now) many corners of the supermarkets looked like this:

Empty stores and sale-outs for a few Euros in most of the markets. All nightclubs and discos had closed too - music and dancing was done only at the beach promenade. Yes, things have changed a lot since the hype of tourism. 

I also spend a day at Palmitos Park - that will be another post (soooo many plants and animals deserve their own post).

Lastly, I want to give you a few impressions of the apartment hotel and the cats that lived there:

cactus garden (in miniature)

a Zen fountain 

Sara - 4 years old. The only real "house cat", living living and being taken care of and "belonging" to the hotel complex. 

All other cats are only "allowed" to be around but are wild.

rear exit 

walk way to the apartments

view of pool area

I hope you enjoyed your travel, for more photos check the album on G+: Gran Canaria 2012

I will be adding a few more there once I've checked (and maybe processed) all that I have made.

See and Feel

See and Feel

When you are blind what are colours to you?

What is yellow, red, black, white or blue?

What are trees, flowers, sunshine or life?

What are people, beauty, happiness or a wife?

There are no colors to blind people.

No sunshine, no rain, no snow.

No rivers, trees, flowers, high or low.

No beauty, no happiness, no life.

But there is help for those blind.

Help for them to see again.

Help to see happiness, sunshine.

Help for a better way to live.

Then there are colors for us blind.

There is yellow, red, black, white and blue.

There is sunshine, rain, snow and life.

There is happiness, kind people, joy and beauty.

You can see trees, flowers and fields.

You can see creeks making rivers forming the sea.

You can see hills, mountains and plains.

You can see houses, light and nature.

If you can see, life is to you like music.

Like music never ending, soft and happy.

Like it’s pulling you up and out of the darkness;

Out of the darkness to see life, happiness and beauty.

This is how you feel when you can see again.

Full of happiness, never ending happiness.

Life is worth living for you again.

Being able to see and happiness make life.

"Dance" - a watercolor for school lesson themed "Abstract People", 1982

virtual life vs. real life

I have written about this topic in a few forums before. It's a topic I come across more and more often. People, including me, use the media "internet", computer, play stations and such devices so much more than they did just a few years ago. It's part of their daily lives. It can become addictive.

Let's start with a simple thing as a mobile phone:

Can you remember a time when all you had was the stationary phone at home? Connected with a cord that got tangled up ever so often? Remember the times that you missed a call and it was still not too late when you called back as soon as you came home? I do!! 

When it first came out, people loved their mobiles. To be able to call whenever they wanted to - no need to search for a public phone or get home to do so. And to receive a call anytime. Not only in cases of emergency! But also to do business away from office. Faster and more instant than before. What a great invention!!!

And then the possibility to write short text messages!!! Another great invention. Now, if you were not able to talk (i.e. because you were in a crowded, noisy place or did not want others to eavesdrop) you could still communicate. Prices for the mobile devices and services went lower with time too, so more and more people could afford this. 

By now though, I can observe schoolchildren texting their friends (or even phoning them) as soon as they leave the school building - with their friends walking right next to them!!!! And when asked why they answer: "I can write them (or talk on the phone with them) better than directly."  

Now this is a development that I find odd. "Virtual" communication better than "real life"?! It makes me think. Are they afraid of direct communication? Have they forgotten how to do it? Or is there something else going on? A kind of separation between people through devices that are supposed to help them stay in "touch"?? Or is there an additional communication going on??? Communicating on more than one level at the same time?? Enriching their communications, not diminishing them. 

I don't know - I'm not using my mobile this way. I'm one of those that can turn it off for days and not miss it!!

Next thing is the computer:

First used to help organize and get things done faster (i.e. making, keeping and evaluating statistics) - computer as calculating machine. Then to write on it and be able to correct without it being noticed or having to retype all of what you have written before - the computer as typewriter. It did not take long and small games were programmed as intermezzo to the often boring office work.

But as those little games distracted from the work AND people wanted to play them at home too, and not only at work where they had the computer, the first "only game" computers were built (I remember the Commodore 64 as such a game computer, although I never had one myself). Now, there is a whole market for those game devices and games. And people spending most of their free time on those games. Even children. Not going outside to play in nature. So game devices to make people move again were invented (i.e. Wii); still inside but not stationary anymore. Most of these games though are "single person" games. No second person needed to play them - only you and the device. Sure, there are team games; but you can have fun alone too!! All you need another person for is to compare your scores. Actually, there are complete competitions run with computer games. And then it's not on how fast you can run or how high you can jump, but how fast you can click, or how fast your computer can calculate your input into output.

Closely connected to the computer as such is the internet:

First invented as Intranet for one office to communicate nearly instantly with the other office within an organization (or university). The Internet followed very fast - and that not only for corporations but for anyone that had a personal computer at home. In the beginning used mostly to send emails - instead of mail  which usually was: write something on a piece of paper and send it off through a delivery service. This took some time. Email was instant compared to this (you still have to wait though if the recipient of your message actually reads and answers it as before). It did not take long and firms had their own websites for marketing - and private ones followed fast. A whole new profession developed. 

[There is a whole market too for all types connected with sex. Because the first contact can be so more anonymous than in real live. It does touch my topic. But I do not want to elaborate on it here.]

But not only websites as such flourished. There were also networks established that connected people not only within their work but in their private lives too. Websites on which people could interact with one another without having to actually be in the same place at the same time. Guestbooks to websites were people can leave public comments, forums were discussions take place. Games went online - to be played still by one alone but also as a team. And soon social networks followed (G+ being one of them - although not the first). All of what had been done in real, daily life can now be done virtually too. 

And now comes this "virtual life vs. real life" into play:

There are people that use the media "internet" and all it's different ways so intensive that they do not seem to have a real life anymore. All they live for is their virtual life. The person they are online. They identify with the online personality they show in the games they play, the social networks they communicate in. Here they can be what they can't be in their real, physical life. "Online" they can be a hero, brave and strong. Or the vamp they do not dare to be for real. Or the wise person with deep insight they fear to utter to the people they meet every day. Or the bad guy. The possibilities are as vast in the online worlds as in the offline one. 

As long as you can distinguish between the virtual one and the real one all is fine, I'd say. The problems come when you start identifying yourself so much with your virtual self that you had created that you actually get lost in it. And if someone does not react the way they thought they would (the way they should react as to the image they had built up "online") they are so surprised and shocked as if they had been attacked in a real, physical way and not only virtual. 

To name an example is "Second Life" - an online virtual world. Now, I never have played this. I know people that have, and have read public comments on social networks and news articles about this game. And all the problems with this addictive way of playing the game. And one of my first comments to this game was: what if our real life was only a virtual game like "Second Life"? All we are and do is such a part of a game, you a character in a game played by someone else that you don't even know or ever have seen or heard from - but that directs everything you do. No free will, no own decisions, all pre-programmed reactions. A game within a game (within a game within a game maybe even). At this point many couldn't "follow" my line of thought anymore.

They got lost. It's hard enough to cope with one online life and the physical one. But more of them layered and intertwined?? That's too much. OK, I'll leave it at online vs. offline.

Today I read on my favorite online gaming site Neopets :

In reality, you can play a game much like "Kacheek Seek", although it involves YOU hiding and physically having to move. This can be a scary concept, as reality is in 3D and provides endless possibilities for your foes to hide. Also, it is not the social norm for them to give you money if you end up finding them.

 lilshadowdweller, Tips for Surviving the Neopocalypse

This takes up what I have been observing. The real physical life as a scary thing. Why? Because you already have identified yourself so much with your virtual self that anything else is so new and different that it can scare you? Or because you have to be brave to face the physical real world - with all it's problems and difficulties and you do NOT have the pre-programmed reactions and solutions to problems easy accessible? It involves a quite different way of communicating and thinking. And it involves moving more of your body than just the hand and fingers to move the mouse or to type in something quick at the keyboard. 

And you can't not re-do it over and over again most of the time until you are successful or can "level up" to the next stage of the game. A mistake in the physical world can be the last mistake you make! In the virtual world, well, you can easily start over again if you have lost a life by your mistake. Sure, it will not be the exact same virtual you anymore, but that does not really matter as long as you "live".

And again I get "lost" in the thought that maybe our physical "offline" life is not that much different than an virtual "online" one. In both you can win or you can fail. It just depends on how you perceive this. You can be an expert in the online life and fail badly in the offline one. Or the other way around. Or be good in both. To know if you can still master the physical life, simply turn off the internet (and all your other technological gimmicks) for a few days and depend on yourself and the people around you. And be ready for a few surprises!!

So as a conclusion, I would say that for me it's not a "Virtual vs. Physical", but a "Virtual + Physical". I can learn from both ways of living. Use and improve my talents, share my thoughts, train my mind (and body - yes, with devices like the Wii mentioned above this is virtually possible too), communicate with others, discover new things and ways of thinking every day and enjoy life as such fully.

It is my responsibility how I balance both "lifes" and which one I give the priotity. And it depends on my own decision and free will. I am responsible for all of my actions - both physical (real) and virtual (real).

I am the master of my life. 

Or not ;).

Can you write a myth today?

Myths are an interesting thing. 

They narrate about strange happenings from a time long forgotten. No one really knows anymore what actually happened. But it must have been something so strikingly different than normal daily life that it has been handed down over many generations.

Some of these myths are about catastrophic events. About earthquakes, floods and other natural phenomena. So vast, that they were affecting the whole world. And are now "known" world wide too.

A few centuries ago scientist and thinkers mused over what truth lies behind the myths, making bold statements. Now a "modern" author, Rens Van Der Sluijs, has summed up all these with his own ideas to them.

Catastrophism in the Humanities - a Low down - Part one
Catastrophism in the Humanities - a Low down - Part two

I observed, that news, that get reported and remembered, are mainly those that are out of the ordinary. Things normal are forgotten easily and neglected. 

It is not only bad things, though, that are being remembered this way. Not only catastrophic events but also the too good to be true things are being remembered longer. 

There is the common phrase of the "good, old times" when everything was so much better than it is now. Not because it really was, but because the "bad" parts, that are similar to the ones now, have been forgotten. They have been there all the time so they did not get remembered - only the outstanding good things, those that were not everyday experiences.

What will be remembered about our time, the era we live in now? 

Will there be a myth about worldwide connections and friendships without ever having met the other for real? [social networks as example] 

Of making money from things that do not even exist as material things? [example here could be the "Wall Street"] 

Or will it be remembered as a time of war and hardship for most and luxury for some? 

Or a time of natural catastrophes that are "only" regional but still had impact on people far away through the media that connects them worldwide; with some then actually physically helping those affected and many just giving money (to help - or calm the conscience) but actually wanting to ignore that it had happened at all and will never happen or affect them.

Or will there be nothing to be remembered at all? An era that will be forgotten completely? A blank page in the overall history of humanity. Maybe there are some outstanding "discoveries" in the field of science, medicine or exceptional things done in art to remember. But assuming a long, long time has past (thousands of generations): what of these will be left? What stories, that could become myths, will be handed down over generations? What will remain in the common memory of all? 

Maybe we should write and tell stories to our children and grandchildren about things that we deem important to be remembered. Not about us, our "mundane" daily life. No.

Stories about all the great discoveries and inventions and other happenings that had an effect on our world, the way we live. And about the dangerous things we have "created": nuclear weapons, oil spills, damaged ecosystems to name a few. And how we went about, once we realized those dangers, to eliminate them.

For a "better" world to live in. 

A world we "remember" as it can be like.

In 2009 I have self-published my first story, a small book. I received a comment on it then that said the story is "out of time": it could have been way back in the past, now, or play in the future. Like a myth. 

I did not really understand it that way when writing. I was just bringing to paper (computer) the images and emotions that were buried so deep inside me. Maybe it's just that "common" memory that surfaced. Maybe there is more to it.

Here is the free link to the PDF file of this story:

Journey_MichaFire

Yes, it's free! I want to share this little book. I'm on the lucky side of life that I do not have to earn a living with writing.

I hope you enjoy reading it. And sharing it to the people that mean a lot to you; those that you trust.

Solan - a whole life in one picture

Dream about Solan - a sketch done right after waking up

Sometimes when you wake up from a dream all you remember is an image and a name. And emotions. Strong emotions. And some sort of memory that is the background to the image. Something that makes you remember it even after years as strong as it was that time you woke up from it.


For me it was like this with this image and name. On waking up I had sketched the image that was still in my mind with all the details I could recall. Then, as I am lucky enough to have access to the internet, I searched for the name as I remembered it. And some derivations of it too. Just in case I had not recalled it right.


I did find some interesting things about "Solan":
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Solan - a town in India - founded in 1972.
And "Solana" is a female name: 
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Solana - Spanish; but also the name of areas/towns in Philippines, Spain and USA - the meaning is associated with "on the sunny side" or "sunshine".
Just as "Solon" is a male name.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Solon - an ancient (BC) Greek "reformer" and poet for (his) pleasure.


All this had something to do with what I remembered - but it didn't not fit all of it. So, after all these years (nearly five actually) I decided to finally write down my version of Solan. It might all be just fictional.

SOLAN 

My name is Solan. 

I am still a girl, and I have a twin brother. No other brothers or sisters live with us right now.

Our house is full with people during the day. They do not live with us. Some are servants that take care of the house and garden. Some are workers on our property that surrounds our house and the fields close by.

And some come to ask my father for advice and plead him to judge in difficult situations. Like two men fighting over the border of two neighbouring fields. Or some possessions. 

Once they even asked him to decide who has the right to take a certain woman into his household. They both wanted her. Contrary to our tradition, my father let the woman decide where she wanted to live. And she decided to have no man at all and live all alone. That caused an uproar in our village; it was feared that all women would decide now where they wanted to live. But it did not happen. The only change from that day on was, that now parents first asked the girl and the boy if they would appreciate to found a household together before it was decided. My mother does the same for the females of the village. But not as often; women don't seem to quarrel so much or are able to settle differences between themselves.

My brother and me are privileged children in our village. Not that we really care about it. It just happens that our father has this position of being the highest ranked man in the area. And thus all the people coming at daytimes. We two prefer to play with all other children of the village with no differences. The places we most often go to is the little harbour down at the ocean and the little wooded areas in the hills close to the village.

But many of the children in our age do not have the time for play anymore. They have to help their parents in the daily work in the house, on the fields and some even on the fishing boats. I do help in the house and garden when I want to. Like my brother does like to help on the fields or sometimes even goes with the others for fishing. But we are not expected to these things as daily chores like most of the other children. We are free to do what pleases us. But of course, never be in the way when our parents do their work. We may be there and listen (and learn from them). One day, so our parents told us, we are expected to take over their position in the village.

And this is what I do not really like. Usually, the first-born male inherits the position of the father. If that one is not capable of it or dies before, the honor of the position goes to the next born male. Now my father has a slightly different view on this. He thinks that any first-born, if capable, will inherit. That would be me. My mother wants him to stick to the tradition; he thinks that all are equal and have equal rights. They do quarrel about it sometimes at night. 

Then this sad day came. My brother decided to go with one of the fishermen. Not just for a day or a week out for fishing. No, this man was an adventurer and wanted to sail along the coast for a longer time. To visit some further away places to trade with. Nothing unusual. It happened every year during this season; the weather pleasant, most field work and harvesting done and the sea calm enough for it. 

My parents took some days to decide. In the end they thought my brother to be old enough (and strong and healthy), and the man trustworthy, to go on this journey. I had asked for it too. Connected to my twin brother as I was, sharing everything, I did not want him to go alone. I wanted to be with him. But my parents wouldn't let me. I was a girl, not a fisherman or seafarer. That was surely not a work for a woman. I thought it not fair, but I couldn't do anything against it. So my brother left us with a big grin on his face, a small bundle in his hand and his heart full of expectation about all the adventures he would have.

I stayed back, crying, waving him a goodbye as if I would never see him again. My mother tried to calm me. She too felt sad at him leaving and joyous the same time for all the experiences he would have. My father wasn't as pleased with it. He had planned to start teaching us about our future work at being in the highest position in the village. 

This was the moment I had captured in the drawing. The father sitting at the table with a strategic game (chess) he had played with the children until it was time for the boy to leave. And yes, I had felt it to be in India, tiled floors, colorful flat-roofed houses and the clothing reflecting this a little.

Now, you might wonder what became of Solan and her brother? I will tell you:

From the next day on, I had to sit and listen when my father had to give advice and do judging. And in the evenings he told me a lot about the history of our village, our country and about the world as he knew it. It was very interesting and I learned a lot. Also why he thought everyone to be equal and should be treated that way. A view so different from the traditions he had to follow. But he managed it and I learned to understand how he did it. 

Still, I wished he had allowed me to go with my brother on that journey too. I felt equal to my brother. He said I'm better suited to become his follower than my brother. I felt honored by this but also a little sad at being "forced" to take on a role and position that I did not freely choose.

My mother too started teaching me more than before. There were days I wished I was still a few years younger and just could run off to play with my friends. But, even if I would do it, there would hardly be anyone around most of the time. It's not easy to grow up. Most of all, I missed my brother.

We did not hear from him for a long time. It took the ship over a year to return. Longer than the usual time. When it finally did my brother was not on it. The man responsible told us that my brother had preferred to stay in a far away country. To learn their ways of leadership and guidance of people in their responsibility. My father was astonished and pleased at the same time. Yes, he thought that this way new ideas will come to our village. And he thought that it would be good for us. He felt proud of his son to want to learn this way and these things although he wasn't supposed to be the one taking his position.

My mother though was upset. He had not yet learned our ways. She feared that he would adapt to the different ways without reflection. And she missed him as much as I did. She only did not show it as open. 

A few years later she died; she had not seen him return. A short time later my father followed and I took over his position. I had to. There was no else to do it. I did not like to. But I did my work as well as I could with all that I had learned. The people of the village came to me as they had come to my father; the men and the women equally. At first, this had astonished me. Me, a woman, being asked by men for advice. So contradictory to our traditions. But it was them that had wanted this little change. And it did our village good. Women now were asked about their point of view more often than before. Their opinions were considered before decisions were made. People became more equal; servants were honored more for their work.

When my brother finally returned after years, he had grown up to be a man, strong and vital and with a keen eye and mind. And he brought a lot of stories from his adventures. It seemed that he was a very liked person and famous in those other countries for his ideas and opinions. Many of those were from our traditions. So my mother had been wrong that he had not yet learned enough about our way of living. In a quiet way I felt proud that he was my brother and had taken this chance in his life to have all those experiences.

I was so happy to see him. And on our first quiet moment together I asked him if he would now take over the position of our father. He agreed, but asked to be allowed to mourn for our parents before he did so. And with a condition: that I would advice him when he didn't not know what to do. Sometimes two minds are better than one before a final decision was made. 

To this I agreed happily. I was free again. Not having to fill a position and role that I did not feel to be mine. I never moved to another man's house. My brother though did take a woman to our house and had children. Both of us taught them what we had learned in our lives. One day they would take our place.

Although that one day in my childhood, that had been so sad and had changed a lot of the plans for my life I had had at that time and that had forced me into a position for some time of my life that I had not freely chosen, I must say in looking back that I did have a good fulfilling life. 

It is always an option to see the positive that is in any given situation and not only the negative that is there. 

So, this is the little story that goes to that image. A whole life in one picture.